In theory, going into retirement is a journey towards an easier life – a period where you can do more of what you want to do and less of what you have to do.

The reality is somewhat different!

I’m sure that it is with the best of intentions that family and friends work ceaselessly to ensure that time does not weigh too heavily on my hands. Suddenly there is an urgent need for a pocket diary and wall calendar to maintain a note of all of my commitments.

Let me give you an example of a typical week:

Monday – Collect granddaughter from school and take her for dentist appointment. A simple task if you ignore the need to encourage said six-year old granddaughter to open her mouth, even a tiny bit, to enable the dentist to make some semblance of an examination. Thereafter, to explain why she only received two shiny stickers for her good behaviour when her sister had gained three previously.

Tuesday – Drop a parcel of clothes to the charity shop. At the shop the Charity Shop supervisor is understaffed today and as such this mere ‘drop’ turns into a full-scale sort of the goods into the relevant departments, price-matching with similar items, labelling the products and placing them on the shelves. Two hours later I emerge from the shop, tired, sweaty and still waiting for the warm afterglow that is supposed to come on the back of altruism.

Wednesday – Go swimming with grandchildren. Getting three lively under sevens out of their day clothes and into their costumes is a bit like herding earthworms! Once in the pool, things go relatively smoothly until there is a dispute over whose turn it is to use a particular float, who gets to jump in next and why one should be excused the use of the goggles. Getting out, showered and re-dressed is a test of patience and ingenuity when it becomes clear that the six-year old has managed to squeeze into the three year old’s trousers, but the opposite arrangement seems too dangerous to consider. ‘Tired and happy’ is a phrase that springs to mind. The kids are tired from their exertions, I’m happy it’s all over for another week!

Thursday – Load elderly relatives (I’m ‘mature’ – these relatives are ‘elderly’) into my car along with zimmer frame,   wheelchair, lotions and potions and, not forgetting the obligatory sandwiches and Cornish Pasties for the 25 miles trip to visit other elderly relatives. Unloading the car and helping everyone indoors is challenging and psychologically daunting with the knowledge that I have to do it all again in reverse in two hours. The journey home is a cacophony of snoring and dribbling and some other, more basic sounds emanating from my travel companions.

Friday – Can I take a look at a letter from HMRC received by one of my old client So? It’s not an advice issue, it’s a translation of official mumbo-jumbo and I feel that this man needs a bit of support. My question in hindsight is, why, as I’m doing the favour, is it me that has offered to do journey? Friday traffic is horrendous, as usual, and I get back an hour late for dinner and have to negotiate the Cold War that ensued as a result.

Saturday Morning – I enjoy a cup of coffee in bed, one of my life’s luxuries when I hear a voice from downstairs,

‘Darling, Sue is hear from next door and she was just wondering if you could……..’

My mind slowly grew to boiling point and a one word answer formed:

‘Nooooooo ‘