It was exactly two years ago that we were in Australia for the number one son’s wedding. Having made the momentous trip, it would have been foolish not to take in the spectacular Great Barrier Reef and so it was that on Valentines Day we found ourselves in a five-star hotel with an excursion booked to one of the most romantic islands around the reef in a glass-bottomed boat taking us to see the most amazing array of sea creatures and reef formations this world has to offer. A candle-lit dinner for two in the luxury of our hotel suite and a breathtaking view over the bay provided the most romantic setting and the prospect of more romantic adventures in the offing. What more could a girl ask for? Surely I must have built up enough Valentines brownie points to last a decade!

Imagine my surprise therefore when, a couple of days before this year’s ‘romantic relationship’ repast, I am being asked a range of tangential questions about the forthcoming weekend:-

“Do you think I should get my hair done before the weekend?”

“I bet all the restaurants are going to be packed this weekend, don’t you?”

“I think I might pop to the shops and buy myself a new dress. What do you think?”

“Don’t forget to fill your car up with petrol before the weekend.”

“Have you seen the price of flowers at the moment? It’s scandalous! Anyone buying flowers at this time of year needs their bumps felt!”

It took longer than normal for the penny to drop. Let’s face it I thought that particular box had been time-locked for at least another couple of years. Slowly as the reality dawned I realised that my options were limited to two only:

Option One – Pretend I hadn’t noticed the hints and put up with an icy atmosphere for  three weeks, maybe four. And stay away from sharp objects to be on the safe side.

Option Two – Muster up all of my very limited culinary skills and imagination to recreate the atmosphere of two years ago. All I need is a shoal of rainbow fish and a Michelin Star.

Each option fills me with dread! In either case I can see bloodshed on the carpet, figuratively or realistically given my prowess with the carving knife!

Tonight I realise that my guardian angel is still working for me, although I would prefer it to act quicker to prevent my three sleepless nights and three days of turmoil. Tonight my special Valentine comes in from work to announce that she’s been called in for a shift on the 14th. She hopes it won’t spoil anything, and anyway we don’t have  society dictating to us when we should be romantic do we?

I agree and give the extra shift my blessing – after all we can enjoy ourselves when all of the rest of these New Romantics have gone back to their Eastenders!

At the last minute a Valentines Day Massacre is averted.