After several years of searching for that elusive idea that would enable me to use Delboy’s immortal words ‘This time next year we will be millionaires!’ I have finally found it! This product will attract mothers, fathers and babies all over the world!
How did I stumble upon this ingenious concept? Well, I choose my words very carefully. I was walking down the High Street the other day when I was almost mowed down by a ‘TOWIE Mummy’ pushing her child in what looked like a Formula One racing buggie. How could she have missed me? Because she was glued to her mobile!
So here is the invention which will make my fortune. Let me introduce it to you in one of those seductive slow releases:
Dads – do you wonder what your newborn is up to whilst you are at work? Are you missing out on so much of your child’s development?
Grandparents – only get to see the grandchildren when the kids want you to babysit?
Mums – need to keep an eye out for danger when you are multi-processing? Skyping your mates whilst rushing to the shops?
Babies – do you think your Mum has got ‘Samsung’ tattooed on her head? Have you forgotten what she looks like?
Pedestrians – do you take your life in your hands negotiating the buggies and prams that fly around like headless chickens every time you walk through town?
Ladies, gentlemen and children, let me introduce you to
THE PRAM CAM
Install the Pram Cam on your supercharged baby carrier and allow your child to see your face rather than your mobile.
A feed to Dad’s office enables him to check up on his pride and joy and remind them whose loins they are the fruits of.
Nan and Grandpa can watch that familiar strain upon the little one’s face which says ‘That nappy is going to need some cleaning up!’
As important, Mum can open up up a small window on her screen and, whilst describing to her ‘bestie’ that pair of strappy mules she is thinking of buying for their next Prosecco-fuelled night out, she can check, peripherally, any oncoming obstacles.
The Pram Cam, more valuable than the dash cam, more litigious than the cyclists helmet cam and more wonga for my pension fund.
You know it makes sense. Cushty!